The only way to pay us is the hard way.
obxium accepts payment by exactly one method: a SWIFT wire to our accounts in Zug, made under twelve rules that are strict on purpose. Read all of them before you ask your bank about any of them.
This page is a work of documentation fiction. Every name, number, bank and rule on it is hypothetical. No such accounts exist, and no funds should ever be sent following these instructions. If any of it reads like real payment advice, that is the artwork doing its job.
Difficulty is the point.
Every franc that enters Switzerland arrives with a paper trail, and ours must be perfect. The Financial Intelligence Unit of Money Laundering (MROS), Finma's anti-money-laundering regime, and our own institutional suspicion of coincidences all demand the same thing: a payment so precisely described that no part of it can be improvised.
But there is a second reason, and it is an artistic one. We manufacture happenstances; we do not believe in frictionless anything. A payment that could not fail would have no story. So the paperwork itself is one of our works: the most boring happening ever manufactured, available to anyone patient enough to complete it.
| Beneficiary | obxium ag |
|---|---|
| Address | Bahnhofstrasse 42, CH-6300 Zug |
| Bank | Kantonalbank der Unwahrscheinlichkeit AG (Cantonal Bank of the Improbable), Bahnhofplatz 1, CH-6300 Zug |
| BIC / SWIFT | KNBUCHZG9XX |
| IBAN | CH66 4242 4004 2424 2424 2 |
| Currency | CHF only, in whole multiples of five francs. No cents, and no conversion offers from your bank. |
| Structured reference | ISO 11649 form — R + country letter + check digit + 15 digits. Printed on each invoice. |
All details above are fictionalized hypotheticals — see the notice. The check digits, however, are real mathematics; everything else is theatre.
SWIFT only
One wire per invoice, as an MT103 or ISO 20022 pacs.009, sent from a bank counter or your corporate banking channel. No SEPA instant, no ACH, no cards, no payment apps, no crypto — we mint moments on public chains but do not accept them in return.
Multiples of five
Amounts must be whole multiples of CHF 5, between CHF 100 and CHF 49'995 per wire. Your bank will offer to round or convert at a better rate. Tell it to stop; the rounding is part of the work.
One invoice, one wire
Splitting an invoice across wires voids all of them. Combining two invoices into one wire voids both. There is no “almost right” version of this rule.
Exact sender identity
The name in field :50K/ must be character-for-character identical to the contracting party, diacritics included — GRØNNEGÅRDE keeps its Ø and Å. No c/o, no PO boxes, no “& family”, no dropped middle initials.
No third parties
The holder of the sending account is the contracting party. Corporations may use only a designated treasury account registered in writing with wet-ink signatures from two directors at least ten business days before first use. The form takes four pages; both signatures must be on the same day.
The window
Send Tuesday or Thursday — the two days our sole compliance officer sits at her desk — between 08:30 and 11:00 CET, Swiss business days only, excluding Bern public holidays. Wires arriving outside the window are returned unopened; we do not examine them, so there is no appeal either.
One intermediate bank
Exactly one, a member of SIX Exchange Regulation, and the chain must never touch USD clearing or any US correspondent node. If your bank's default routing does this, tell us before you send — not after.
Structured reference only
The ISO 11649 reference printed on the invoice, plus remittance information in :70/ that is exactly OBX-INV-YYYY-NNNN| followed by the first twelve hexadecimal characters of the SHA-256 hash of that invoice number. ASCII, no free text, no apologies.
Originator's Declaration
Attached as a cover note in PDF/A-3, at most two pages: legal name and jurisdiction of origin; a one-sentence source-of-funds statement of twenty-eight words or fewer; wet-ink signature scanned at 300 dpi minimum. The sentence must not contain the word “various”.
No value-date games
Value date equals execution date. No pre-dating, no post-dating. A wire that arrives earlier than its declared value date is treated as never sent — a state we find philosophically interesting and commercially impossible.
Thirty-day hold
Funds rest in suspense for 30 calendar days under Finma's MLCA review before release. No interest accrues during the hold; we pay nothing on held funds and charge nothing either. Rejections return by the same route you came, with one printed slip naming exactly one reason.
Five business days
The wire must arrive within five business days of invoice date. Anything later is not a payment, it is a gift, and obxium accepts no gifts: late wires are returned to sender with a postcard. The postcards are good ones.
For reference, a compliant wire from our accomplices at Kestrel Kites in Copenhagen, for the spring commission on Foundry-1's Line 3. Every name and number is fictional; the hash is real — it is what you get when you actually run the invoice number through SHA-256.
{1:F01CCHBDKCPXXXAXXXXXN}
{2:O261103083214ZUG CABLE N }
{4:{1:}{2:{INS:OBXWIRE :361:}}
:20:/OBXW-20261103-0142
:23B/:CRED
:32A/:261103CHF000012500
:50K:/9138/CCHBDKCPXXXAXXXXXN/7401/DK74 0042 4242 4242 42
KESTREL KITES APS
GRØNNEGÅRDE 7
DK-1379 COPENHAGEN K
:52A/:CCHBDKCPXXX
:57A/:ZKBCCHZZXXX
:59:/KNBUCHZG9XX/CH66 4242 4004 2424 2424 2
OBXIUM AG
BAHNHOFSTRASSE 42
CH-6300 ZUG
:70:/OBX-INV-2026-0142|c563b35221f2
:72:/RC64 2026 0142 0001 42
:71A/:OUR
-}| When | What |
|---|---|
| T+0 · 08:32 CET | The originator bank sends the pacs.009 via SIX. Value date is execution date; nothing on this page may pre-date itself. |
| T+0 · afternoon | Exactly one intermediate — Zürich Korrespondenz-Bank AG, a fictional SIX member — forwards to the Cantonal Bank of the Improbable in Zug. There is no USD leg anywhere in the chain. |
| T+1 · morning | Funds land in obxium's suspense account and pass the automatic checks: ISO 11649 reference match, SHA prefix match, multiple-of-five test, character-for-character sender comparison. One failure returns the wire unopened. |
| D+30 | The compliance officer — one person, Tuesdays and Thursdays — completes the AML review under Finma's MLCA. Funds are released to our operating account. No interest accrues during the hold; neither do we. |
| If rejected | Return by the same route you came, with one printed slip naming exactly one reason. We do not argue about it. The slip is the argument. |
Rejections in the last twelve months. Every cause, no omissions.
| Cause | Count |
|---|---|
| Arrived on a Wednesday or Friday | 41 |
| Amount not a multiple of CHF 5 | 27 |
| Free text in :70/ (one contained an emoji) | 9 |
| Sender name missing a diacritic | 6 |
| A second intermediate bank appeared in the chain | 4 |
| Source-of-funds sentence used the word “various” | 2 |
| Wire arrived accompanied by flowers, constituting a gift attempt | 1 |
Ninety of ninety-three wires were returned last year. The other three are still in suspense and appear to be enjoying themselves.
If you cannot meet all twelve rules, do not send anything at all.
That is the entire instruction set. The difficulty is not an obstacle to payment; it is the payment's form, the way a glint is only a mirror and nothing else. We would rather have no money move than see it move wrongly.
For actual commercial questions write to obxium@protonmail.com — a human answers, slowly, between coincidences.
This page is a work of documentation fiction. Every name, number, bank and rule on it is hypothetical. No such accounts exist, and no funds should ever be sent following these instructions. If any of it reads like real payment advice, that is the artwork doing its job.